Pitching the Idea.
A long, long time ago the earth was flat. It was in a time when Time itself had been captured by Space and imprisoned in a place between the second and third dimension. Earth was like a sheet of paper floating around in space with an upper side and an underside. The two sides were stuck together with a magnetic field and the whole flat, floating thing spun on an axis located at the core.
That’s how it looked from outer space but close-up it was more like a tray stacked up high on one side with nothing underneath. The upper side was a dark, foreboding place comprised of high peaked, snow-capped mountains that stretched in all directions as far as the eye could see. These mountains formed valleys of deep, narrow fissures that appeared to go on forever. Occasionally, large chunks of ice would come crashing down and land in one of these ravines, and over time, the ice disappeared, drip by drip, through the core.
The underside at this point was unknown and crossing from one side to the other was out of the question.
Time had been observing this and what puzzled him the most was where the ice went. Sitting on a rock one day, thinking about this and other things (like how he could outsmart Space), he had a Eureka moment.
Expand like a balloon, become bigger, larger, grander; omniscient so to speak.
‘Novel thought,’ he said to himself as he worked it in his mind.
Now, when Time had been banished to Earth, Space gave him companions in the form of gods to whom he turned when he needed to sound out an idea.
‘This is my theory,’ he announced theatrically, taking the stage on the peak of the highest mountain.
‘In order to expand time on this planet, I need to find the balance between this world and the world that sits beneath it. On this side we are heavy with mountains, ice, rocks, gods galore and, this is just a hunch, but I wouldn’t mind betting that the other side is the complete opposite. There’s nothing: it’s flat, godless, dense/hollow – not sure which one yet – space. That would support the opposites attract theory, but I have a feeling there’s more to it. I mean, really, can we just sit here and accept that one side is heavy, and one side is light?’
He paused then continued.
‘I’m keen to see exactly what’s in that space between our side and the underside, and if I can blow it out, just think …’ and off he went into a daydream, completely forgetting the audience who soon became restless (by now a whole gathering of gods had come to listen) wondering when he would finish.
Time returned to the present.
‘Ok. Ok. I know you’re thinking I’m a little bit crazy, but wait Your Highnesses and I will tell you my plan. My plan is to find a way to blow out the middle like a balloon; are you with me?’
‘Well, no, not exactly, but do go on!’ they chorused.
‘Well, I’m thinking maybe, just maybe, the middle is dense and if I can penetrate it by, say, digging tunnels, then I may potentially break through the crust. The crust, I theorise, is the outer barrier which I believe is pierceable.’
‘Are you with me, now?’ he shouted, assuming an evangelical style of delivery as he glided across the stage to gain their attention.
‘Tell us more, tell us more, just a little bit more,’ they sang in chorus.
‘Breaking through the crust would be like breaking the seal of a vacuum pack; woosh! Watch the air pour in; up, up, up she goes like a balloon.’ He paced the floor frantically, face flushed, fully in the moment.
Providence, the god of all gods, rose out of the throng and took a seat beside him.
‘I’m listening. How do you propose to do this?’ she said.
Time could not believe his luck to have the undivided attention of the Great One and began to break out into a nervous sweat.